All my life I wanted to be a mom. Some girls wish to be teachers, doctors, veterinarians, but I dreamed of being a mother. Maybe because it was something I didn’t have, a mother daughter relationship I so longed for. So I would daydream about how great of a mother I would be. I remember all of the things I longed for, and promised myself I would be the mom I always dreamed of. That my child would be my prize, a magical bond of love that I had wished for and that my life would be a fairy tale from then on out.

I was naive to the fact that once you have a child right after the feeling of true love is felt, the immediate sense of worry is part of your daily routine. Did I feed him enough? Is he crying because he’s hungry or tired? Is he hot or cold? Should I push tummy time longer or I am pushing him too much? Every moment was another question that only I was responsible for answering. It was a hell of a responsibility thrown upon a free spirit such as myself. I was never a worrier prior to having a child. What shall be shall be, let it be. I put my happiness above anything and everything. I made life decisions based on today, tomorrow and maybe the day after that. And life was….pretty comfortable.

And the moment I had a child not only did my life change, but as did my mind set. It wasn’t just about my happiness anymore. Actually it wasn’t about my happiness anymore, it was all about Joshua’s. Game over, Joshua won. My life was about to be not only changed, but taken over. And I had no idea of the extent this incredible adventure would forever change me.